In Timothy Beneke's 1982 book Men on Rape he draws a clear connection of mans connection to nature and the incident of rape in our society. He strongly encourages men to ask women they are close to "What would the changes in your life be if rape were to stop?" I ask you to contemplate that and to ask the women in your life the same question. On page 9 he quotes anthropologist Peggy Reeves Sanday from her study of rape in tribal societies. Sanday found "that out of ninety five societies, 47 percent were rape free, 18 percent were rape prone, and 35 percent were somewhere in between." According to Sanday, WHEN MEN ARE IN HARMONY WITH THEIR ENVIRONMENT, RAPE IS USUALLY ABSENT. "It is important to understand that violence is socially and not biologically programmed. Rape is not an integral part of male nature, but the means by which men programmed for violence express their social selves. Men who are conditioned to respect the female virtues for growth and the sacredness of life do not violate women. It is significant that is societies where nature is held sacred, rape only occurs rarely." (Benenke quoting Sanday, page 10)
From my reading of this book and thinking about the issues as Beneke presents them I understand this in a new manner. When the males of a society are physically connected to nature, either in their work or in their pleasures, there develops an appreciation for Nature.
This has led me to think of the term "Mother Nature" and to the connection of "Goddess" religions. In ancient times societies worshipped the female form. It made sense to their world view, women were seen as the givers of life. Women were also healers. Now I am not going to go into a religious dissection of patriarchy, but I would be willing to bet that just after the advent of Male God's the incident of rape significantly increased.
When I think of the feelings connected with walking in nature, or of working the earth for a garden, I think of the peacefulness that settles into my breath. When I fly over an area that has been strip mined, or a forest that was clear cut the only word that comes to my mind is RAPE. Think of your own experiences around this. I think there is an important link here. The link is consent.
The earth is a living organism, and the treatment of the earth is directly related to the treatment of men, women, and children in society. There is a way that working the earth in your hands can be like a gentle caress. And the connection to nature can be as calming as that caress. In our society it is now almost a challenge to be able to walk barefoot in the grass. We put our shoes on to walk on a sidewalk to the car, where we sit in a steel cage and drive (usually too fast) on a different form of concrete or asphalt. We have to make a concerted effort to find a place that we can take our shoes off and walk in the grass. It is now entirely possible to go for weeks or even months without actually touching the earth. I strongly believe that this loss of connection to the earth allows our society to become more and more aggressive. This aggressiveness comes out in many forms, and is most definitely not limited to just men. As an aside, did you know that "road rage" is becoming a significant cause of traffic fatalities? Intentional and accidental.
The fact that our society is the worlds leader in rape is, in my opinion, a reflection of the fact that our society is also the current leader in pollution and desecration of the world. What will happen to Chinese culture and civilization as they enter the modern industrial world??? What will happen to the women, the men, and the children in their society?
One of the symptoms that arise from this lack of connection to the earth is "numbness." A lot of the time we go through our daily actions without any feeling. We are just doin' the job at hand. This lack of feeling shows in many ways, some of them being shallow or hollow emotions, physical numbness, and or feelings of isolation.
If we go through life with out feeling it makes it easier to violate the earth, women, men, and children. If we learn to reconnect to our feelings we have to accept responsibility for our actions. If I do not allow myself to experience the depth of my emotions I cannot experience the beauty of my emotions.
Physical numbness is one of many symptoms of the greiving process. I have to ask myself if part of what we are grieving is the loss of connection to nature? There are many things in this world we may be grieving, each as unique as the individual.
Physical numbness may also be a way we have taught ourselves to evade the power of our emotions. (Personally I know that part of my experience with numbness is connected to a fear I had of the power of my own emotions. I was afraid that if I ever allowed myself to truly feel my emotions I would loose control of them. It was a very powerful and liberating experience to work to a place where I could feel my emotions. And while I do not always retain the ablility to feel them, I know I can return to that place and I am capable of having emotions and expressing them in a safe way.)
As a man in our society I also am very aware of the isolation of men within our society. I think this too is part of what we are grieving. I will explore that in detail later in this page.
One of the simplest things we can do about this is to make a determined effort to get back to nature. Get our hands and feet dirty. Most cities nowdays have community gardens, or "P-patches," contact one in your neighboorhood, or create one if you have to. How much effort would it take to plant some herbs or vegetables? What would the payoff be? Well aside from home-grown tomatoes, getting your hands in the earth and working with the ground, I firmly believe it will reduce the level of stress in your life and help you to open up to your emotional process.
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